recovering from a busy summer. a really busy summer. and i hate to admit it because when zach left his job to stay home… i was silly enough to believe that things might be ‘less busy’ and it just hasn’t been the case. constantly looking for ways to simplify and slow things down and i wonder if i’ll have it all figured out by the time i’m ninety.
i have so much to share and so many pictures that i need to get to and it’s all so incredibly overwhelming right now. we’re in a weird season here…. if i’m being honest. we’re grateful and we’re anxious. we’re looking ahead. we know that change is coming but we’re not sure exactly what kind of change or where.
marriage is so good. the babies are so good. we’re thinking about maybe moving out to the country… having some ducks and chickens and a barn… or maybe even living in a barn.
there’s a lot of what if’s and how about this’s and what do you think’s going on in our house. we’re just not settled quite yet here and we’ve been here for five years already. the place is so beautiful but it doesn’t quite feel like us.
i’m praying that God will help us to be joyous and filled right where we are and that He’ll ease any anxiety we experience when it comes to moving on from here. i know this: He knows what’s in store and He knows where we’re headed and it’s far better than what we have imagined so that’s that.
i went on a recent trip to washington state… just me… to visit a friend. and what i thought was going to be a long week filled with tears and missing my babies ended up being a long week filled with laughter and soul-filling conversation with a beautiful friend and i came home feeling refreshed and well-rested, something i haven’t felt for quite some time. it was so good for all of us.
the unfortunate thing is that since i’ve been home (two weeks or so) it’s been pretty crazy…. non-stop…. and i’m not even sure, to be honest, if my bags are completely unpacked.
it’s hunting season, aka ‘jamie is a single mom for three months’ season…. so things aren’t going to slow down any for the fall.
somehow, i’m adjusting to the busy-ness that is three babies and a husband and a house bigger than i’d like it to be.
i’ve wished for so long that life would slow down and it. just. doesn’t. maybe someday. maybe when i’m eighty and the kids are grown and my little crochet bag sits by my side table and i watch nature shows on the weekends while zach messes with stuff in the garage.
and well…. i think i’ve just decided that i’m in no hurry for all of that. i’ll take the busy-ness. i’ll take the disaster of a house and the never-ending to-do list.
i’ll take the precious little girl who followed me last night with her little vintage fisher price camera. i tried to tackle taking all three kids out by myself to take some pictures of them. ‘just ONE good picture’, I told myself. i thought i’d feel super accomplished if i could just get a picture of the three of them suitable for framing. and at the last minute, just before we piled into the truck- she grabbed her camera and announced, “I wanna be just like you Mommy. and when I get big… I’m gonna take pictures of my babies too.”
and so she and i did a photo shoot of the boys. she took a few, i took a few. it was perfectly imperfect. and fun. and these days…. the crazy busy days of three babies five and under- fun is really all that matters.
and look what happened…. i ended up with one of my favorite photos of her ever…. and oh, the memories that are attached…. are innumerable.